Does Craigslist Work?
Anyone who has visited the “Casual Encounters” section of Craigslist knows what kind of wild assortment (emphasis on “wild”) of people you are sure to find. You’ll see the guys who are basically pimping out their wives and girlfriends, the guys who want to “clean up” your lovemaking session with their tongues, the young couples looking for senior citizens to have sex with… and it goes on and on from there.
To each his own, but it seems that for the mostly-normal, Craigslist may not be the right place to be looking… or is it? Fact of the matter is that what is “normal” for me, may not be “normal” for you. Probably more than a few people have visited this blog and thought, “Damn! These people are crazy!”
The first time Rachel and I actually met someone off of Craigslist, it worked out perfectly. We met Vlad. The second time, however, we met a guy and his midget girlfriend. I kid you not! She had a beautiful face (which is all we saw from the photo), but the body of a midget… okay, maybe she’d more accurately be categorized as a dwarf. I think she was like 4’ 2” and had little bowed legs. I think a lot of guys probably have a midget fetish, but not me… and not Rachel. (…I know, I know… why must I call it a midget fetish? Midgets are people too, after all.)
NOTE TO MY MIDGET READERS. I’M SORRY. DON’T BE OFFENDED, REST ASSURED THAT YOU ARE SEXY IN YOUR OWN LITTLE WAY!
After our midget experience, we decided to take a break from Craigslist… actually, a very, very long break, with no expectation that we would ever try it again. However, a couple weeks ago, Vlad and I were taking a walk and discussing how we’d both like to find a second girl to flesh out our relationship, taking it from a threesome to a foursome. I was telling him how and why Rachel and I had sworn off Craigslist, but he had an idea: “Why don’t I post an ad and say that the three of us are looking for a girl… and I’ll post a link to the open-minded-couple blog, so she can see what we are all about… what do ya think?”
“Hmmm… that actually sounds like a good idea!” I said. “You can handle all the wacko calls, filter out the bad ones and then introduce Rachel and I to the one you pick.”
I hadn’t given that conversation any thought since.
Until this last Tuesday morning. I got a friend request on Facebook. I accepted. Then, I got this message: “Call Vlad. I just had the most amazing 12 hours of my life with that stud!” I read it as I thought, “Who the hell is this?”
After a few more messages back and forth, I realized that this girl was the result of Vlad’s Craigslist post. He had indeed done it. He wrote an ad, linked to openmindedcouple.com and basically said: “This is what we do. This is what we are looking for. If you want to be a part of it, send me a pic and let me know.” Knowing Vlad, he probably included a photo of himself, as well.
Before long, Rachel and the new girl, Kit, had talked a couple times on the phone and plans were made to hang out on the following Saturday night. Vlad was having a party at his place, so it was expected to be a comfortable, laid back atmosphere to get together, hang out, and get to know each other.
Craigslist Casual Encounter Tips:
1. If you are posting an ad in Casual Encounters, try to include a female. For example, if you are a guy and have a girlfriend or wife (or both!) be sure to include them. Don’t go solo guys… not unless you are posting in the man-looking-for-couple section (or unless you are a gay guy looking for a gay guy, then okay).
2. Establish what you are looking for. Are you a guy looking for a couple or a couple looking for a guy/girl? Be very specific about who you’d like to meet. It’s even okay on a couple items to say which are non-negotiable, but be polite. Even still, you’ll be totally surprised how many replies you get from people (mostly men) who completely disregard your requirements. Send those replies straight to the trash!
3. At the bottom of your ad, it’s good to give an instruction like “be sure to put ‘open minded couple’ in your subject line… any email I receive without this will go straight to the trash.” This way, you can easily filter out the spambot replies you’ll be receiving.
4. Get disposable email address. One that you don’t mind being flooded with very dirty (and sometimes spammy) messages.
5. When you find someone you like, don’t sound creepy or desperate. I know, if you are creepy, it’s hard not to be creepy. Creepy people don’t tend to understand what it is about themselves that is creepy… so, here’s a few pointers: (a) If you send photos, be somewhat tasteful. Have a pleasant look on your face, but don’t smile too big if you’re holding your dick. That might just be… creepy. And don’t post close-ups of your cock. Most people will want to see your face…. and definitely do not post/send a photo of someone other than yourself! (b) Try to write using proper grammer and complete sentences. Email isn’t a text message. Use punctuation. (c) Be respectful. This is a human being you are talking to, not a fantasy in your head. If you want to use your dick, don’t be one! (d) Don’t tell your life story. Keep it to a few lines. Don’t sound too eager. In fact, don’t BE eager. Every guy has been eager… but it’s best not to show it. Play it cool. (e) If you don’t get a response right away, don’t panic. Don’t start sending a barrage of emails… just keep looking. (f) Don’t write in all caps. (g) Don’t mention that the only pet you own is a cat…. or that you have a pet boa. Neither of those will garner you any cool points. (h) Mentioning your martial arts skills and your sword collection may not be wise, either!
6. I’m assuming at this point, you have already seen a pic of this person. If not, it is DEFINITELY advised! In fact, the more, the better! (In case you forgot it, see midget story above.)
7. Talk on the phone.
8. Once everyone is comfortable meet, choose a bar or public place; however, do NOT meet at someone’s home or hotel room. Do I have to explain why? If so, then go ahead and do it… if you survive, let us know how it goes for you.
9. Leave a note behind, explaining where you’ve gone and who you are meeting. Also, a link to the person’s Craigslist ad would be helpful, as well. If you get into a jam, and the person you’ve met is totally batshit crazy, let them know you have left behind enough information to get them caught, should something happen.
10. Damn… at this point, I’m beginning to think you should be carrying some mace! Before I started this list, it hadn’t occured to me… fuck! I’m scaring myself! I’m never using Craigslist again!
11. Tell the person that in all likelihood, even if you ARE attracted, that you aren’t planning to have sex upon the first meeting. This way, it won’t be expected and may make things less awkward.
12. Assuming everything’s gone well… go ahead… break the rule in number 11 and fuck away!
13. Afterward, play it cool. Don’t fall in love… unless you absolutely have to.
Craigslist can work, but Craigslist is also a risky way to meet others. Unfortunately, the crazies are the ones who are least afraid of it. We so-called “normal” people are the ones who have the most reservations and fears about meeting a strange fuck-buddy online. However, perhaps if more of us non-crazy folk jumped on Craigslist, we could turn things around… or maybe, we’d all just become crazy too. That may be the point. Crazy may just be a matter of perspective.
Either way, crazy or not, play safe!